All good couples therapists agree that couples counseling is one of the hardest modes of therapy to pull off well. Yet many therapists who have not been formally trained in couples work still claim to offer this expertise, often with devastating results. Insisting on finding a couples therapist who is in your insurance network may be a false economy. Good couples therapy is priceless – and a LOT cheaper than the divorce process. Don’t scrimp. Ask for referrals, see if the same names keep coming up, get on their waiting list, and drive across town if you have to.
Make time in your life
For therapy to be effective, the time between sessions must be considered as important as the time spent in-session. At a minimum, the brain needs space and rest to integrate the new learning and insights of the therapy process. If you are so scheduled that you can barely make your appointment-time work, this might not be the right season in your life to start your therapy journey. Since good therapy doesn’t come cheap, it’s worth waiting until you can invest the time as well as the money to do it well.
Decide what’s most important and what you’re willing to let go of
Finally, be a little flexible. While it would be wonderful to find a highly reputable therapist two miles from home who specializes in what you’re looking for, is in your insurance network and can get you in tomorrow, it’s unlikely that you’ll get all those things. Decide whether it’s worth it to drive a little further, wait a little longer or pay a little more to see the best therapist available to you.